


tied together with a smile

by elemsee



Category: Ash vs Evil Dead (TV), Evil Dead (Movies), Evil Dead - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:46:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28077924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemsee/pseuds/elemsee
Summary: The words fall out of your mouth before you can stop them, as though you've turned on the tap and had to start fumbling to shut it off."I think I'm in love with Ash."
Relationships: Ash Williams/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	tied together with a smile

**Author's Note:**

> I am very new and very late to this fandom. I literally only watched the Evil Dead trilogy last week (thanks to my buds Shann & Helena - hiii guys, ily) and started binging Ash vs Evil Dead this past weekend.
> 
> So with that being said, apologies if characterisation of anyone isn't quite up to scratch. I tried my best based on my fresh and limited knowledge. 
> 
> Also, I need to note here that I adore Ash Williams, I would die for him, and the song 'Don't Fear the Reaper' is absolutely 100% his life anthem (hence its brief mention in this story). That is all. 
> 
> Thanks for being here, folks. Hope you enjoy, and feel free to check out the other works on my profile! ♡

The words fall out of your mouth before you can stop them, as though you've turned on the tap and had to start fumbling to shut it off.

"I think I'm in love with Ash."

As is her typical nature with relationship matters, Kelly finds more hilarity than seriousness in your confession. She's also unsurprised, her neatly groomed eyebrows barely even cracking an arch at your sudden announcement. 

"This is not news." She scoffs out a half laugh as she continues cutting up the syrup slicked pancakes on the plate in front of her. 

Pablo's eyes grow to the size of saucers. "It's not?" he says, his head jolting to the left in an almost comically fast fashion. "I didn't know this was a thing!" He returns his wide eyed gaze to you. 

You shrug, attempting to act calm about it, but what Pablo can't see underneath the table is that your hands are trembling. 

"It's always been obvious," Kelly pipes up again, her mouth half full of chewed up pancake. She glances in your direction with her fork pointed accusingly toward you. "The way you look at each other every time he saves you from a Deadite is honestly sickening. If it weren't for the blood and guts everywhere, I'd think we were in a romance novel."

Your heart is thudding so hard you're paranoid that it might be noticeable over the fabric of your t shirt. Well, not yours but Ash's, a tattered old band tee he'd kindly let you borrow in a pinch on laundry day. It still smelled like him. You didn't want to return it. 

There's a slight breeze against your arm, the smell of freshly cooked bacon wafting through the air as the waitress passes you by, carrying plates of food. Pablo is still staring back and forth between you and Kelly, his expression nothing short of stunned. 

"Man, I can't believe I never even noticed," he finally says, and he flashes you a wide grin. "So, when are you going to tell him?"

"I'm not," you say, far too quickly. Kelly's eyebrow finally quirks upward as she takes a sip of coffee, considering your response. She remains silent, but the tension in the air forces you into further explanation. "There's no point. He doesn’t want to be with me." The plastic cushion underneath you makes a creaking sound as you shuffle slightly, feeling uncomfortable. 

"Says who?"

Your casual glance in Kelly's direction is slowly becoming an annoyed stare. You can feel the pressure in your forehead as your eyebrows knit together. "Says me."

"If you really believe that he doesn't feel the same way about you, there is definitely something wrong with you."

You pull a single hand up from your lap to grant your pushy friend a classic middle finger gesture, to which she simply huffs out a laugh.

"Maybe Kel's right, amiga," Pablo chimes in, "Throw the old dog a bone, he's more than earned it." 

"What are you knuckleheads talking about, huh?" 

You jolt in fright at the sudden sound of Ash's deep voice behind you; the fright quickly dissolves into anxiety as you consider how much he may have heard on his way back from the bathroom. 

"I, uh —" You feel like a deer caught in headlights as you glance between Kelly and Pablo. 

Kelly just chuckles quietly, reaching for her cutlery again, opting to finish her breakfast rather than attempt to save the conversation.

Pablo points a finger at you, and you feel yourself freeze up. _Surely he isn't going to rat me out?_

"She was just offering to pay for breakfast," he finally stammers out, and you feel relief flood your body, but not before offering Pablo an incredulous stare. 

Ash's dark eyes turn daggers for a moment as he considers Pablo's comment. You can feel the weight of his gaze upon you. But his suspicion dissipates as quickly as it had arrived, nothing but the expression of acceptance etched upon his face. 

"Whatever floats your boat, short stack," he says, and you hear the familiar jingle of his keys as he reaches his hand into the pocket of his slacks, "I ain't gonna stand in the way of such a noble act of charity."

Ash leans over the table to reach for his half empty glass of orange juice, his torso brushing against your arm as he does so. The proximity of his body so close to yours makes your heart begin to race again. You're tempted to reach out and touch him — _just to steady him while he's leant over like that_ , you silently insist to yourself — but you curl your hand into a loose fist on your lap instead, opting to show some sort of restraint. When he finally retreats back, Pablo and Kelly are both looking at you, amused expressions etched upon their faces. 

"Right, let's head out, my little Ninja Turtles," Ash announces, breaking the tension at the table, unbeknownst to him, "We've got a lot of ground to cover today."

He strolls out of the diner before anyone can say another word. You begin reaching for your purse, yanking out a couple of bills before tucking the corners of them underneath your empty plate. 

"Best not keep lover boy waiting," says Kelly, looking at you with amusement as she shuffles into her leather jacket.

You simply roll your eyes, making a mental note to get payback for her teasing later.

* * *

For all its faults, and given that it looks more like a museum of historical interest than a home, the Airstream feels surprisingly cosy in the darkness of the evening. The dim lighting gives an amber glow of the kitchenette as you bend down to the fridge to grab a beer, greeting Eli with a gentle tap on the glass as you stand back up. 

The curtained 'doors' of the master bedroom are closed, and you can hear the sound of Ash's light snoring on the other side. He's the only other person in the Airstream for the moment — Pablo and Kelly have left to 'get some groceries', although Kelly's wink in your direction as they exited makes you realise that perhaps their departure was less about shopping and more about hatching some sort of plan to give you and Ash some alone time.

The beer can makes a short hissing sound as you tug at the pull-tab, the fizz of the beverage making your throat burn slightly as you down half the can in one fell swoop. If you were going to do this, you needed the Dutch courage, and you knew you only had a limited window of time to talk to Ash before Pablo and Kelly were back.

Pulling back the curtains quietly, you find Ash laying on his back, his broad shouldered form taking up significant space on the bed underneath him. The top two buttons of his shirt are undone, the third straining precariously with each breath as his chest rises and falls. His hair is a dishevelled mess, various strands jutting out at odd angles. You tilt your head, leaning it against the cabinet as you stand there watching him, your heart swooping with a rush of love for him. He looks so peaceful. 

You know better than to wake him suddenly — there's still a mark on your collarbone from the time some weeks ago when you tried to shake him awake in a hurry and found yourself on the floor with his hand tightly wrapped around your throat, his sleep fuelled brain making him assume you were a threat. It hadn't been his fault and he'd been apologetic, but even so, you really didn't want to be on the receiving end of that again.

"Ash," you call out gently, your voice barely more than a whisper. No response. Twice more and he finally stirs, stretching his limbs with a groan as his eyelids flutter open. 

"What's the matter?" he murmurs sleepily, his voice huskier than usual. He sits up, head drooping as he rubs absently at his tired eyes with both hands, before swiping at his hair to tame the wild faux-black strands into some sort of semblance of order. 

You stroll across the small space of the room, taking a deep breath to try and combat your nervousness as you park yourself down on the bed next to him. "Oh, nothing's wrong, I just — I needed to talk to you about something."

"I'm all ears, sweet stuff, what's on your mind?"

Ash's gaze in your direction is genuine and full of concern, and yet somehow it makes you feel even more anxious. 

"I guess, well, I —" Your voice comes out as a squeaky, stuttering mess, and immediately you feel embarrassed, glancing down at your hands, afraid to look Ash in the eye. "I kinda have feelings for someone. Really strong feelings. Like... love. I don't know what to do about it."

When you finally meet Ash's gaze again, his expression is not what you expect. He looks... wounded. Just as though you've given him some bad news. 

"Well, ain't love grand," he says, "Who's the lucky bozo, then?" He lets out a gentle laugh, but the emotion in those oaky orbs gives him away without a struggle. 

Outside, you can hear the faint sound of the adjacent trailer playing music, some repetitive dance track with an annoying thumping bass line. The sound is distracting, seeping into your veins, threatening to send you spiralling deep into your anxiety. You let your eyes drift closed for a moment, trying to focus elsewhere. The deep drag of Ash's steady breathing grounds you, the slow sounds of his inhales and exhales helping to relax your body back to some semblance of normalcy.

When you allow your eyes to flutter open, you see the hurt has dissolved from Ash's eyes. His weathered facial features are now awash with concern and confusion, and the weight of his gaze under the dim light of the bedroom is so disarming it makes you just want to throw caution to the wind. 

Kelly's words from earlier are an echo in your ear. _If you really believe that he doesn't feel the same way about you, there is definitely something wrong with you._

"It's you," you breathe out the words without another thought of hesitation, "It's you, Ash."

It feels as though a weight has lifted from your chest, but suddenly the anxiety is back as strong as ever. Your heart is pounding furiously. 

Ash is studying you, the confusion still ever so present upon his face. It takes a moment or two for his eyebrows to unfurrow themselves but soon enough he's just staring blankly, his lips parted slightly. The fact that his confusion has seemingly ended doesn't make you feel any better. 

"I..." His sentence trails off as quickly as he'd started it. The silence feels as though it might deafen you. The great Ash Williams, the man who always has a quip or remark ready to dole out at every occasion, stunned into silence. A sudden realisation hits you... _Kelly was so very wrong._

_I've ruined everything._

The lump forming in your throat threatens you, but you can't cry. Not now. You don't want Ash to see that. Seeing you cry would imply that he's hurt you, and he already carries more than enough guilt about the people in his life getting hurt because of him. 

"You know what, please just forget I said this," you babble quickly, and you press your hands down onto your thighs with a sense of finality, preparing to stand up. But before you can move, you feel something clasp onto your arm. Ash's robotic hand. 

"Baby, wait," he says with a sigh, "I'm sorry. It's been a long couple of days, the ol' grey matter ain't moving quite as fast as I'd like it to." 

"No, no, I'm the one who should be sorry —" 

There's a flicker of sorrow in Ash's earthy brown eyes once more. "Why? Because you think I don't want you?" 

You opt for a wordless response this time, casting your eyes to the ground beneath your bare feet. From beneath your downcast lashes you can see Ash straightening himself, squaring his shoulders before standing up to start pacing up and down a few feet in front of you. 

"Look, I can't say I don't feel the same way, kiddo, but if we try to make something of this, it means we've got so much more to lose —" Ash's voice trails off, and you perk your head up to find him finally stood still, staring at you. He looks tired and defeated. "— _I've_ got so much more to lose, if the worst happens. I buried family. I buried friends. I buried a woman I loved. I gotta be honest with ya, baby, I don't know if I got it in me to do it again."

You think about the journey you'd all taken together, all the hours of road trips and all the conflicts and near misses along the way. Ash always came out on top — and you knew that he'd managed to stay alive all this time for a reason — but somehow every entanglement he gets into with a Deadite makes your stomach twist in fear at the idea that it could be his last. You weren't ready to lose him. And now you knew for certain that Ash wasn't ready to lose you, either. 

In the trailer opposite, the obnoxious repetitive dance track finally ends, replaced with something completely different. You strain your ears to catch the notes and the words, and recognise the familiar guitar line within seconds: _Don't Fear the Reaper_. You almost laugh at how apt it seems.

When you finally decide to stand up and stalk towards him, he refuses to meet your eyes at first. It's only when you take his real hand in yours, rubbing your thumb against his knuckles gently, that he makes the eye contact you've been waiting for.

"Ashley," you say, your voice so delicate and tentative. 

"That's my name, don't wear it out," he quips with a half laugh, but it's hollow, the amusement not quite reaching his eyes. 

You purse your lips for a moment before catching your bottom lip absently between your teeth. Your hand is trembling as you slip it upward to his cheek, your thumb ghosting lightly over the skin. 

"Ash, every time we go out there, every time you save my life, or Pablo's or Kelly's or some other poor schmuck who can't defend himself, I keep thinking about how it might be the last time I ever see you alive. And —" Your voice threatens to crack, but you swallow hard in an attempt to steel yourself. "— all I'm going to do is regret all the time we wasted. Even if the time we have left is short, I'd rather spend it loving you than have to live with the regret that I never got to love you at all."

Instead of responding with words, Ash snakes his arm around your waist, yanking you close and pressing his mouth to yours. His lips are softer than you expected. His tongue tastes like sleep and the beer he drank an hour ago, but you don't care. It's Ash. It's _Ash_ and he's kissing _you_ , and nothing else in the world matters more than this moment.

When he finally pulls back, he presses his forehead against yours, both of you breathless. He's got both of his arms wrapped around you, and despite all you've both been through, you've never felt safer than you do right now.

"If we're really doing this, I got one request for ya, baby doll," Ash says, "It's a pretty simple one, but it's pretty important to me. You gotta make me a promise."

"Oh yeah? And what promise is that?" You quietly chuckle, playing aimlessly with the buttons on his shirt. 

He leans back slightly, reaches for your chin and tilts it upward so you're eye to eye with him again. The corner of his mouth is curved upwards ever so slightly, but his gaze is intense and serious. 

"Don't you ever fuckin' die on me."

It's his biggest fear. He doesn't say that part out loud, but you know it's nothing if not the honest truth. Ash has witnessed and experienced more than you could ever and will ever know the full extent of. There's nothing you can do that can take it away, no magic antidote for the trauma borne from his past. All you can do is be there to try to give him the future he deserves. 

"I think I can manage that," you quip, carding your fingers gently through Ash's messy hair. "There's no getting rid of me, hot shot."

He grins wider and this time, to your delight, it reaches his eyes. He's happy. You know deep down he's still afraid, but right now in this moment he's actually happy, and that's all you've ever wanted.

"Groovy."


End file.
